Adroit Ape: defining "human"

Defining Key Terms

a·droit [uh-droit] –adjective

1.	expert or nimble in the use of the hands or body.

2.	cleverly skillful, resourceful, or ingenious: an adroit debater.

ape [eyp] –noun

1.	any of a group of anthropoid primates characterized by long arms, a broad chest, and the absence of a tail

an·thro·poid /ˈænθrəˌpɔɪd/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[an-thruh-poid] –adjective

1.	belonging or pertaining to the primate suborder Anthropoidea, characterized by a relatively flat face, dry nose, small immobile ears, and forward-facing eyes, comprising humans, apes, Old World monkeys, and New World monkeys.

Forward
I have created this blog with the intention to explore and record any and all hair-brained ideas that I come up with. The title "Adroit Ape" developed from two strange sources.

The first source is an insightful satire video called "Dance, Monkeys, Dance" by Ernest Cline.

Before I continue, I would like to offer some insight into what I mean by "satire".

"The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself." -James Thurber

Of course, anything as satirical as "Dance, Monkeys, Dance" will invoke skepticism in most people. No one can deny that humans have the most complex culture on Earth. Watch this next video to help calm your thoughts about the distinction between man and ape.


The second source is somewhat of a silent conversation I had with myself on Sunday, April 22, 2007 while shooting hoops (aka playing basketball) for somewhere between four and six hours. During this time I managed to learn to use my previously useless left hand. This probably seems like not a big deal at first, but it sparked a frenzy of thought. The following is a brief [EDIT: apparently I suck at brevity] overview of what went through my head.

1. Why am I right handed? Why aren't all people ambidextrous.
   
• I have concluded that the answer is more simple than most people would have you think. Forget all the left and right brain stuff, which is simultaneously an oversimplification of the way the brain works and a misunderstanding of dexterity (aka adroitness).
  
• My answer is as follows: I am right handed because I am too lazy and too embarrassed to learn to use my left hand. Learning to use my left hand requires quite a bit of patience. Further, the reason most people are right handed is because English is written from left to right. Watch a left handed person write a paper and note that they drag their hand awkwardly over their writing, smudging their "rat-scratch" handwriting. Arabic and Hebrew are both written right to left, while many Asian languages are written top to bottom. Statistics confirm that there are considerably more left handed people in Asia and the Middle East.
• For activities other than writing, I am also likely to favor my right side because I have already developed a sense of favoritism towards it, not to mention that it is generally more dexterous than my left side. However, I can confirm that once you have learned dexterity in your right hand (say with dribbling and shooting a basketball), you can learn that same dexterity in your left hand extremely quickly.
• Studies show that improving dexterity with your left hand also improves dexterity with your right, so dribble and shoot a basketball with your left hand only for a few hours and reap the benefits of vastly improved overall skills. Sometimes it just makes more sense to shoot with your left hand rather than your right, e.g. when a defender is on your right side.
  
2. Continuing my internal conversation about dexterity, I began to see how this relates to other areas, e.g. eye-sight. Muscles squeeze your eyes to shape the lens so that objects at a certain distance are in focus. I find that the more I play basketball and the less that I use my computer, the better my eyesight gets. For this same reason, I have decided that I will only use my eyeglasses when I absolutely MUST see something. If I use them more, I am missing out on an opportunity to exercise my eyes. If you are suffering from poor vision, identify the cause (probably your computer) and take up a hobby that requires you to exercise your eyes. I recommend basketball, since you can buy a ball for $15 and use it on any public court. It forces you (or at least should) to focus on both the hoop and the ball, giving your eyes a chance to focus both near and far. As an added bonus, you'll develop coordination with the rest of your body and get in shape at the same time.
• Tip: You're not going to be a hot-shot right at the start. Warm up by holding the ball in one hand and bouncing it off the backboard a few dozen times, catching it in your hand in the shooting position. Don't go straight to the three pointers or you are likely to get frustrated. Once you feel confident with this backboard drill, practice bouncing it off the backboard and into the basket with that same hand. If you can do this ten times in a row from close range, you will notice vast improvement in just a few minutes.
3. I'm not just talking about dexterity and eyesight. This applies to virtually everything we do. Practice makes perfect. Or rather, focus and practice makes perfect.
   
• If you are a slow reader, practicing reading and really focusing on what you are doing will make you a better reader.
  
• If you are struggling in school at math, put a little extra time into focusing and practicing what you are doing, and you will quickly find yourself at the top of the class.
  
• If you feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, practice talking to strangers and focus on the conversation. This brings me to my next point.
4. Charisma is just the skill of making strangers like you. This is definitely a skill that eludes many people. Unfortunately, with six billion (and counting) people on Earth, the fact is that almost everyone is a stranger to you. You would be wise to focus on learning charisma -- that's right, "learning charisma". The trick here is very simple.
• Turn strangers into familiars. Show interest in the person. Focus on establishing rapport.
  
• rap·port /ræˈpɔr, -ˈpoʊr, rə-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ra-pawr, -pohr, ruh-] –noun
1. relation; connection, esp. harmonious or sympathetic relation: a teacher trying to establish close rapport with students.
• How do you establish rapport? I'll explain with a short story.
  

  We were having a huge party at my house called Around the World. We had six different bars that served regional drinks. I was a little nervous about going to this party because I typically don't like partying with 200 strangers and 100 people whom I know to varying degrees.
  
  I ended up working at one of the six bars all night. Nobody else wanted the job, and I took it reluctantly. Working bar turned out to be an excellent choice. Why? I had something everyone wanted: free alcohol. There was no anticipation or reluctance to approach people. They came to me. Conversation came easy and I was proclaimed to be the best bartender ever by a number of people, despite my terrible drink-making skills (which I promise to practice, along with my alcohol-tolerance skill). Here's how the typical conversation went:
  
  

  • person: "What are you serving?"
  • me: "rum and Coke... except we ran out of rum, so it's vodka and Coke."
  • person: "Ok!"
  • me, while starting to make the drink: "Where are you from?"
  • person: "[insert random Greek house here]"
  • me: "No, where are you from?"
  • person: "[place]"
  • me: "Oh, cool. So, who do you know here?"
  • person: "Everybody!"
  • me: "No you don't. You don't know me!"
  • person: "What's your name?"
  • me: "Barry."
  • person, extending hand to shake: "I'm [name]!"
  • me: "So are you having fun?"
  • person: "Yeah, it's pretty sweet here."
  • me, nodding in agreement: "Yeah, it's pretty tight. Are you drinking responsibly?"
  • person, wide eyed and shocked: "No. I don't think I'm going to remember this tomorrow."
  • me, looking at drink and hesitating to give it to them: "Can I trust you with this?"

• You get the idea. I had this conversation probably ten or twenty times and everyone responded well to it, even though I looked completely and utterly like ass that night -- I had a black eye and a five-o'clock shadow and was pale like an albino rabbit. Practice everything. We humans are excellent at learning.
  

That's all for now. I'll get back to this next time I have a conversation with me.